Jelly beans, Ian’s favourite sweets, he LOVES them, is it only me who finds many worthy to be placed in the category of wrong? Now I’ll only eat pink or dark green ones, apparently I’ve eaten one too many of the wrong ‘uns, that left a nasty taste in my mouth, more for Ian then!
I’ve experienced the nasty taste that comes from my words too, only the effects of this nasty taste have more lasting, and harmful effects, not just on me.
What we think about affects what comes out of our mouths, It’s in your head post talks about the thinking part. It’s no surprise then, that whilst I was struggling with bad thinking, my words mirrored that.
Around 5 months into our reconciliation, we arranged to meet with a godly couple we trusted, we were in a mess. In my head it was clear what the issue was, or rather who the issue was – Ian, I thought if someone told him off, pointed out how out of order he’d been, that would solve our current load of problems.
Imagine my surprise then, when the conversation was not directed to Ian at all, but my words, the power in my choice of words, and what I was speaking over our marriage, over my husband, and over myself.
They were full of grace towards both of us, and what they said made sense but I left their house feeling offended. I didn’t stay offended, I recognized that my choice of words was harming my marriage, my husband and myself. I knew I needed God’s help to change my choice of words permanently.
Proverbs 18:21 confirms that this is God’s stance too, we get to choose whether the words we speak kill or give life. In any situation I had a choice, was I going to dish out some fruit or poison? On the subject of dishing out fruit, my fruit palm trees (above) were a hit in the summer, my sister asked why I’d bothered, for if you were wondering too – I could have just put 2 kiwis, 2 satsumas and 1 banana on a plate but everyone knows pretty food tastes better right?!
Choosing what I spent time thinking about, and changing how I spoke went hand in hand, at the start it was very deliberate effort, intentionally choosing to speak good and life at every opportunity. It took my feelings some time to catch up with what I’d decided, but by the grace of God they did! Deliberate effort turned into habit.
I wish I could say that this is all neat and tidy now, never an issue, but whilst it’s not as it was, I do slip up still. The good thing, the slip-ups aren’t normal anymore, and so any negative talk that comes out of me leaves a nasty taste. This nasty taste is my indicator that I need to get forgiveness and flip up the way I’m talking, so is now a gift!
One thing I know, God never knocked back a prayer I made to help me change the way I thought and spoke. He wants us free!