I’ve not been on our blog for a while, so I thought I’d give you an update of what’s been going on for us!
In May we got to be leaders on !Audacious Kids Camp together! During the second game of camp, I was involved in an accident involving my mouth and an 11 year old’s head, the result – the kid was fine and I had two knocked out teeth and a bust lip!
The rest of Kids Camp (titled ‘The Way of the Brave’) was fantastic! Kids being brave on the adventure activities during the day, and then learning about the true way of the brave in the evening – boom!
God has been so good to me, in the days/weeks following Kids Camp He:
Healed my lip rapidly (I couldn’t speak properly a few hours earlier! – warning photo below is a bit gross!)
Brought 2 dead teeth back to life (believing He’s going to do it for the third dead tooth too!)
Enabled the splint holding my teeth in place to come off almost two weeks early (meaning I could eat normal food again!)
In July we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary! If you know our story, you’ll know that we very nearly didn’t make it to our 7th wedding anniversary, our marriage was dead, dead-dead; But God did the impossible and resurrected our marriage a couple of weeks before our 7th anniversary.
We’re superabundantly thankful for what God has done and is doing in our marriage; He’s shown us that literally anything is possible with Him, and has totally exceeded our expectations.
Our faith has been massively bolstered – if you’re marriage is in a not so good place, we’re believing for you, for your marriage, in the full confidence that Jesus is right there with you. Absolutely anything is possible.
At the end of July we got to serve at !Audacious Conference 2014 – The Charge on !Audacious Juniors. We’re so fortunate that we get to serve alongside real life legends, serving, inspiring and having fun with our nation’s 3-11yr old world changers, and facilitating many parents to be able to partake in the epicness for them.
!Audacious Juniors conference also titled ‘The Way of the Brave’ required us to dress up as someone brave, this is us (our thinking – if you’re going to be a bit ridiculous, you may as well go full ridiculous so everyone knows it’s on purpose!)
Now we’re caught up, I’m looking forward to getting back to regular posting!
To celebrate us reaching our first 100 connects on Facebook we’re giving away 3 copies of Max Lucado’s book – You’ll get through this, hope and help for your turbulent times. This is a book I wish was written when I was going through the toughest season of my life, it’s excellent! Even if you’re not currently going through a turbulent time, still go in for it, I guarantee that you will know someone who will be massively blessed by this book! Details of how to enter are at the end of this post.
My worst nightmare was playing out in front of me, abandoned and betrayed by the man I adored, it hurt, ridiculously badly. A week into our separation, my sister took me to visit our other sister hundreds of miles away, getting away sounded good to me.
My sisters are epic, the two I was with that weekend tried to take my mind off things, but everything seemed to remind me. There was no getting away from this nightmare.
Me and my ‘little’ sisters
Hitting a new level of pain, I reached out for my Dad. As it was early in the morning, I e-mailed him a desperate message, and he responded a short while later –
“Call on the Lord for that extra strength you are needing it, worked for me when Karen Nadine was born.”
Karen Nadine is my baby sister who my Mum carried full term, but she was born sleeping. I remember her funeral, more than that, I remember my parents at her funeral. They know pain.
I followed my Dad’s advice to call on the Lord God Almighty for extra strength at that moment, and then whenever I needed it. This is one of the prayers God turned into insta-prayers, prayers sent up with instant and guaranteed strengthening.
I found the missing piece to this blog post last week, when I got to go to Hillsong Colour conference in London! Lisa Bevere taught on Jesus’ first miracle, where He turned water into wine.
This has certainly been true in my experience, whenever I was running out of strength, hope, peace, grace, joy, patience, money, anything really. Lisa gave us three points I hope will help you too”
1) Admit your need to Jesus, one person admitted the need in verse 3
2) Do whatever Jesus tells you, even if it doesn’t make sense, seems irrational, seems too small to make an impact, seems confusing. Verse 5
3) Sometimes it’s in the obedience, the sharing, the giving we get to see God do the miracle in our own verse 8&9. The servants only saw water, it was inbetween that and it being given to the guests that Jesus caused the water to turn to the finest wine.
You are so loved, approach Him with full confidence.
God is immense!
To enter for the giveaway for 1 of 3 copies of Max Lucado’s book – You’ll get through this. ‘You’ll get through this. Whatever “this” is – financial woes, relationship valleys, health crises.’
Facebook: each like or share of this post on our Facebook page is an entry
Twitter: each tweet mentioning @resurrectedMrg and this post is an entry
I walked into the cottage I used to share with my husband, this was before moving back to my parent’s house after the surprise announcement that he was leaving me for another woman, oh and that we were financially ruined. This April day in 2011, I woke up feeling different, stronger, time to sort some stuff out!
I was swept off my feet by the affectionate welcome I received, kisses and everything, I’d been missed, by my dogs that is!
Cool Breeze & Rossco!
As I was getting ready to leave, my eldest dog Cool Breeze re-welcomed me as I left the bathroom, and in the commotion, Ian’s toothbrush was knocked to the floor. My automatic “Ah! Ah!” (Universal language in human and animal worlds for “STOP IT!”) didn’t make it’s usual, automatic appearance. Well if he’s kissing a dog, he won’t mind sharing his toothbrush with one, I thought. After it had been suitably chewed, feeling quite pleased with myself, I returned the toothbrush to it’s usual location.
The moment I left the cottage, “not good” repeated in my head, this didn’t feel good. I was experiencing conviction for what I’d just done. I already knew what I’d done was wrong, but my internal justification for my actions didn’t wash with God.
I’m a Jesus girl, so I get the gift of conviction via The Holy Spirit whenever I sin, His intention is always for me to be made right with God. Conviction is not the same as condemnation! Pastor Mark Driscoll has a chart (shown below), which shows the difference.
Therefore, now no condemnation awaits those who are living in Jesus the Anointed, the Liberating King,because when you live in the Anointed One, Jesus, a new law takes effect. The law of the Spirit of life breathes into you and liberates you from the law of sin and death.
So God doesn’t approve of the dog chewing Ian’s toothbrush. What about what Ian’s affair?! A chewed toothbrush is tiny sin compared to his affair I protested. A re-occurring theme in our separation came to mind – Ian’s actions did not change what was expected of me, ouch. God was bothered about the state of my heart just as much as Ian’s. I did end up asking God for forgiveness after an honest chat with Him (He can handle it!). I wanted to put things right, quickly.
I bought a new toothbrush that evening. Having nothing to write on to explain, I wrote on the back of the receipt “DON’T use your toothbrush – the dog’s chewed it.” He didn’t need to know how the dog got to chew it right? Receipt wrapped around the toothbrush, I posted it through the letterbox.
Four days later, I returned to the cottage to continue sorting. Ian wasn’t supposed to be there, but he was. My mind was quickly distracted from this issue, why’s the new toothbrush on the microwave, and why is it still in it’s packaging? I asked the necessary questions with a degree of trepidation, he didn’t understand why it had been posted, as he’d failed to read the accompanying note.. Epic fail!! His face, as it dawned on him was a picture (that unfortunately I didn’t take).
My lesson – just do the right thing in the first place, it’s easier! If you don’t, remember if you belong to Jesus there’s no condemnation for you, get right with God and do what He directs you to do.
After my husband abandoned me for another woman, I experienced a number of symptoms linked to my pain. Immediately I was introduced to insomnia, this wound me up because I wanted to sleep, I needed to sleep, but just couldn’t.
Making the most of these extra hours in my day, long chunks of time were spent in God’s word. Early in our separation, one Saturday evening (or rather Sunday morning at ridiculous o’clock) God spoke to me massively about forgiveness. It was as though I was reading with new eyes.
I was having a tough time with this ‘f’ word:
He wasn’t sorry!
He was still having an affair!
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Excitement started bubbling up inside, I knew the forgiveness I’d received from God, so I knew I could forgive Ian. I used my last £10 to catch a taxi to the house I used to share with Ian, bursting to tell him that I’d forgiven him. I left a post-it note on my parents TV telling them not to worry, and to pick me up for Church. (For info – I don’t recommend doing it like this!)
Ian wasn’t as excited to see me; I was greeted with a stern “what’re you doing here?” Not deterred, I sat down to gush about the massive revelation I’d received. I was distracted for a moment as I saw that his wedding ring wasn’t on his finger.
I proceeded to show him all the stuff God had been illuminating to me about forgiveness, and explained to him that I was choosing to forgive him, but not to get confused – I wasn’t condoning what he was doing, no that made me sick.
It didn’t exactly go to plan; Ian did not want my forgiveness. Quite the opposite, he wanted me to hate him. Still bubbling, I chose to forgive. At just the right time my Dad arrived to pick me up for Church – it was Easter Sunday.
The excitement didn’t last. At times I was fighting with myself. I’d decided to forgive, but my feelings hadn’t caught up. Oh and then things got worse when he moved in with the other woman. Is what Jesus did enough?
It wasn’t easy. It was a case of giving a clean slate whenever a negative thought popped into my head, whenever a mind movie decided to start, whenever I wanted to speak badly about my husband or the other woman, anything. Choosing to forgive day by day, and at the start even hour by hour. I was asking God a lot for grace, grace to forgive, grace to be the wife He designed me to be, and so he drenched me in His grace to do what I could not do on my own.
I was given plenty of opportunities to practice my forgiveness, it became habit, and a habit I’m eternally grateful for. I have no doubt that this habit established in our separation set us up for success in our reconciliation, and for the beautiful resurrected marriage God promised us!
Image minus text – http://www.flickr.com/photos/gregoryjordan/
Whoomph! Flames engulfed the paper my childhood best friend and I wanted to make look old. We’d already attempted rubbing wet teabags on the paper, but this had a less than desirable effect. Eight year olds not fazed by this, we put it under the grill.
My friend’s brother tackled the flames by chucking it in sink water, the floating pieces of burnt paper – not quite the aged effect we were hoping for!
Fire burns stuff, we’re taught it from an early age. In my post – they didn’t even smell of smoke, I talked about how God had caused us to come out of our fire (of betrayal and abandonment) not even smelling of what we’ve walked through.
However, there was some burning that happened in that fire, I wasn’t aware at the time, but it definitely happened!
Nebuchadnezzar was so furious with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego that his face became distorted with rage. He commanded that the furnace be heated seven times hotter than usual.
Then he ordered some of the strongest men of his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. So they tied them up and threw them into the furnace, fully dressed in their pants, turbans, robes, and other garments. And because the king, in his anger, had demanded such a hot fire in the furnace, the flames killed the soldiers as they threw the three men in. So Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, securely tied, fell into the roaring flames.
But suddenly, Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in amazement and exclaimed to his advisers, “Didn’t we tie up three men and throw them into the furnace?”
“Yes, Your Majesty, we certainly did,” they replied.
“Look!” Nebuchadnezzar shouted. “I see four men, unbound, walking around in the fire unharmed! And the fourth looks like a god!
There’s multiple crazy good things in this short passage:
The flames were so hot, they killed the soldiers who were pushing the 3 men in. The 3 men pushed in lived, unharmed.
3 men were pushed in, but 4 were seen in the flames, ‘the fourth looks like a god!’
Nebuchadnezzar ordered some of the strongest men of his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. These weren’t weaklings who bound up the 3 men, they were his strongest army men, they knew what they were doing.
Nebuchadnezzar got the shock of his life by what he saw next, there should have been 3 bound men ’ “Look!” Nebuchadnezzar shouted. “I see four men, unbound, walking around in the fire unharmed! And the fourth looks like a god!”’
Yep I was thrown into the fire, and I definitely was bound, the biggest ones:
Pride – we were so in love and so confident our marriage wasn’t at risk, we did our way of marriage over God’s way. Once we started our reconciliation I had more issues, thinking I was better than my husband because I hadn’t done what he’d done.
Unforgiveness – I thought I’d got forgiveness sorted in my early 20s after dealing with some rubbish that had happened in the past, but when everything went wrong in my marriage, it was obvious it wasn’t sorted at all.
Poor reactions – not to everyone, just the people I loved (I know, I know – it’s backwards!!)
However these very things were burning off me in my fire. The fire served a purpose to unbound me, set me free – not quite what the enemy had in mind!
I wouldn’t wish what we went through on anyone, and have no desire to go through it again, but I’m overflowing with gratitude for the good that’s grown from it.
God didn’t put me in the fire, but He made it work for my good! Whatever fire (situation, struggle) you may find yourself in, put your trust in God:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose
We were confident that we were safe; we were so in love, we went to Church, we were cute together. That would never happen to us, but then it did. My husband abandoned me for another woman. Our marriage was dead, a complete shock to everyone, including me.
Scared and craving normality, a gift was delivered to me in the shape of an old friend from school. This amazing woman, who was walking through her own fire, reached out to me in mine, and told me to read the start of Isaiah 43:
These verses really illuminated off the page to my hurting heart. Extraordinary promises from God, but I couldn’t fathom how I was going to trudge through what was ahead of me, the fire of betrayal and abandonment, and not even be burned. I was already experiencing physical symptoms from the pain.
I didn’t need to know how, I just had to cling on to God, cling to His promises and trust Him to do what He says. It wasn’t easy, but easy wasn’t promised.
After we reconciled, we started working our way through another difficult season, three months in we started going to what is now our Church – !Audacious Church. We arrived with the stench of our fire clinging to us, if you got close enough to us, you’d know we had issues. Getting rooted in our Church changed the course we were on, it changed everything!
God was ridiculously good to us; He revealed to each of us what we needed to do. Some steps prolonged by one or both of us, often unnecessarily, but God was patient and drenched us with His peace and grace.
At some point we came out of the fire! I say ‘some point’ because neither of us can pin-point the day it happened. It was a process but we knew we were out, our hearts healed, both of us transformed, our marriage resurrected into something that others and we were recognizing as beautiful.
God has been speaking to me about that time through His word. In Daniel 3 it records how three men were thrown into a fire for not worshipping an image of the king:
Then Nebuchadnezzar came as close as he could to the door of the flaming furnace and shouted: “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”
So Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego stepped out of the fire. 27 Then the high officers, officials, governors, and advisers crowded around them and saw that the fire had not touched them. Not a hair on their heads was singed, and their clothing was not scorched. They didn’t even smell of smoke!
We came out of our fire not carrying the hurt around with us; we didn’t even smell of the smoke of that fire! If we didn’t tell you, you’d never have guessed our marriage was dead in 2011 (even if you set up secret cameras in our home!).
How would people have been able to smell the smoke on us now anyway? I believe any lingering unforgiveness, our attitudes to each other, the way we spoke to and about each other would have caused a bit of a stench!
One thing I know, whatever you’re walking through, however bad it looks, however you got there – whether you put yourself there, or you got delivered there by someone else, there is One who will choose to be in that fire with you, and is able to lead you out to a place where you don’t even smell of smoke! He is the Lord God Almighty!
Then Nebuchadnezzar said, ‘Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.
As a baby, I kept failing my hearing tests, so had to be taken to a big hearing centre with specialist equipment. The expert delivered their diagnosis to my Mum, “We know she can hear because she moves her eyes in the direction of the noise, but she needs to turn her head to pass the test, you just have a very wilful little girl”. Haha.
will·ful adjective \ˈwil-fəl\
: refusing to change your ideas or opinions or to stop doing something
: done deliberately
Merriam Webster dictionary
Chuuby chops = little version of me with my sister
It seems I did grow with a wilful streak, this could easily be seen as a negative character trait, but it has actually served me well. It especially did so in the most painful season of my life. Besides, I prefer to think of this wilfulness as a description of my resolve!
1re·solve verb \ri-ˈzälv, -ˈzȯlv also -ˈzäv or -ˈzȯv\
: to make a definite and serious decision to do something
My marriage broke down on a Saturday. The following day was Sunday, so my legendary Mum volunteered to stay home and look after me whilst the rest of my family went to Church. There was only one problem – I had no intention of missing Church, I knew where I needed to be. So wilful me I resolved to be there.
It was a guest speaker that day, I don’t remember what he was preaching on, but I remember exactly what God spoke to me through him – “Cling on!” As soon as the words left the preachers mouth, tears were streaming down my face; that word was for me.
The next two preaches, the same word was confirmed to me via two different preachers, “Cling on with everything you’ve got!” and “Cling on!”
Why did God say it three times? I believe it’s because He knows me and knew I’d doubt whether He was really speaking to me. In addition, there was a battle going on, not just for my marriage, but my heart and my mind too.
There’s a number of ways I clung to God, in this post I’ll talk about two of them. God willing, the others will be covered in future posts!
Cling to your faith in Christ
The enemy, not just satisfied with our dead marriage, and my prodigal spouse, he seemed to want to destroy my faith and me too. There was only one problem – he picked the wrong woman!
Cling tightly to your faith in Christ and always keep your conscience clear, doing what you know is right. For some people have disobeyed their consciences and have deliberately done what they knew was wrong. It isn’t surprising that soon they lost their faith in Christ after defying God like that.
and always keep your conscience clear, doing what you know is right.
some people have disobeyed their consciences and have deliberately done what they knew was wrong. It isn’t surprising that soon they lost their faith in Christ after defying God like that.
Choose to praise and worship God
Choosing to praise and worship became my default setting when things are rubbish long before our marriage broke down.
I implore you, if you’ve not already sorted your default setting, don’t wait for the troubled times to come before deciding what your response is going to be.
The world looks to offer much to assist in these times – alcohol, drugs, revenge, harm to name a few, but their effects temporary and harmful. None offer the lasting peace and relief that comes from being in the presence of God.
“Cling on with everything you’ve got!” That one came as things were getting worse, and I felt I didn’t have a lot in me, that was ok that, I just had to cling on with everything I had and He would do the rest:
We love this song! I realise it’s not everyone’s flavour, but it is a huge reminder to us of a significant time in our reconciliation journey.
We’re totally blessed to be rooted in our Church for many reasons; one reason is the epic teaching we receive at every meeting, every week, without fail. Amongst the epic teaching, there have been some pivotal preaches for us.
This post is based on what we learnt from the account of Ezekiel and the dry bones. Everybody has seasons of dry bones; it’s that place that once had life and hope, but now looks hopeless. For us, it was our marriage, for others it’s health, friendships, relationships, unfulfilled promises, careers, anything really.
The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me to and fro among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, ‘Son of man, can these bones live?’
I said, ‘Sovereign Lord, you alone know.’
4 Then he said to me, ‘Prophesy to these bones and say to them, “Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath[a] enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.”’
7 So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.
9 Then he said to me, ‘Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, “This is what the Sovereign Lord says: come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.”’ 10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet – a vast army.
Three weeks before we heard the teaching on this passage, our 5 month reconciliation journey looked like a failure, I’d had enough, I’d told Ian I was done. We weren’t looking at anything like the beautiful resurrected marriage God had promised us, it actually seemed worse, both of us to blame for very different reasons.
I thought I was being given another chance to end our marriage, but this conflicted with what we both knew God had said. God spoke to me that evening through a guest speaker “When God says it – God will do it”.
It’s safe to say, we were in a valley of dry bones, a hopeless place, at the time I was thinking more like obliterated bones. That night, God was asking us “Can these bones live, can this marriage live?” It needed a response.
We learnt that our response in the valley is determined by the realisation of our position, our position in God:
The hand of The Lord is on me (verse 1) – throughout the Bible, however it’s phrased, the hand of The Lord is powerful, this changes everything!
I’m His ambassador – authorised representative of God in my world. 2 Corinthians 5:20
For those three weeks I’d set up a tent of acceptance, camping in my valley, thinking to myself “this is just the way our marriage is now, I tried”. In this preach, I had some choices to make, was I going to choose to believe God, to obey Him, prophesy to the dry bones around me or was I going to sit in my tent of acceptance?
We were encouraged to introduce the ‘facts’ of our situation to the truth of God. Oh there were many ‘facts’ and statistics that I’d read about our situation; they weren’t good.
That evening in Church, toe-to-toe, hand in hand, we prophesied over our marriage and each other, both declaring what God had said, and what we were believing for. The pain was very raw, there were tears, but we did it.
Something shifted that night, there was still a lot of work to do, but our hope was renewed, our faith increased, and I reckon there was a party in heaven! Step by step, life was breathed in to our marriage
Although our marriage isn’t in the valley anymore, we do have other ‘dry bones’ in our world, we are convinced that God is able, and we’re reminded that we need to speak truth and life over those circumstances.
So if today you, like us, find yourself surrounded by dry bones, there’s some decisions to be made – will you choose to believe God, to obey Him, prophesy to the dry bones, or are you going to set up a tent of acceptance in the valley?
You choose!
God is immense!
You can listen to the preach we heard for free on Itunes here!
Jelly beans, Ian’s favourite sweets, he LOVES them, is it only me who finds many worthy to be placed in the category of wrong? Now I’ll only eat pink or dark green ones, apparently I’ve eaten one too many of the wrong ‘uns, that left a nasty taste in my mouth, more for Ian then!
I’ve experienced the nasty taste that comes from my words too, only the effects of this nasty taste have more lasting, and harmful effects, not just on me.
What we think about affects what comes out of our mouths, It’s in your head post talks about the thinking part. It’s no surprise then, that whilst I was struggling with bad thinking, my words mirrored that.
Around 5 months into our reconciliation, we arranged to meet with a godly couple we trusted, we were in a mess. In my head it was clear what the issue was, or rather who the issue was – Ian, I thought if someone told him off, pointed out how out of order he’d been, that would solve our current load of problems.
Imagine my surprise then, when the conversation was not directed to Ian at all, but my words, the power in my choice of words, and what I was speaking over our marriage, over my husband, and over myself.
They were full of grace towards both of us, and what they said made sense but I left their house feeling offended. I didn’t stay offended, I recognized that my choice of words was harming my marriage, my husband and myself. I knew I needed God’s help to change my choice of words permanently.
Proverbs 18:21 confirms that this is God’s stance too, we get to choose whether the words we speak kill or give life. In any situation I had a choice, was I going to dish out some fruit or poison? On the subject of dishing out fruit, my fruit palm trees (above) were a hit in the summer, my sister asked why I’d bothered, for if you were wondering too – I could have just put 2 kiwis, 2 satsumas and 1 banana on a plate but everyone knows pretty food tastes better right?!
Choosing what I spent time thinking about, and changing how I spoke went hand in hand, at the start it was very deliberate effort, intentionally choosing to speak good and life at every opportunity. It took my feelings some time to catch up with what I’d decided, but by the grace of God they did! Deliberate effort turned into habit.
I wish I could say that this is all neat and tidy now, never an issue, but whilst it’s not as it was, I do slip up still. The good thing, the slip-ups aren’t normal anymore, and so any negative talk that comes out of me leaves a nasty taste. This nasty taste is my indicator that I need to get forgiveness and flip up the way I’m talking, so is now a gift!
One thing I know, God never knocked back a prayer I made to help me change the way I thought and spoke. He wants us free!
New years eve 2013, Ian took me to Edinburgh for the firework display (we love fireworks!). I was really cold, so Ian picked out a wooly hat, but my “that won’t fit me” didn’t stop him trying to get it on my head, fail! I asked the shop assistant if they had any big hats, she responded by asking me what sort of big, “like for a big head”. I may as well have shouted to all in earshot “QUICK, everyone check out my head!” haha.
Mind movie moment happened right there and then: 11 year old version of me, excited to get my own horse riding gear. The hat, I knew the exact one I wanted, one of those pretty velvet cap ones with a bow at the back, in navy blue.
The expert fitter brought out a few junior hats, they didn’t fit, no panic, he brought out a few ladies versions, they didn’t fit either. Full embarrassment came when much to everyone’s amusement, even the men’s version wouldn’t fit me!
I ended up with a more roomy man’s skull cap, my Aunty got me a stretchy, navy blue cap to go over it, this softened the blow of not being able to fit in the pretty one! That was the day it was established that I have a big head, but big brains need bigger casing right? Haha. The good news, 29 year old me got a girly wooly hat in Edinburgh that fitted – great success!
This mind movie makes me laugh now – it’s harmless. Whilst Ian and me were separated though, I started having mind movies with a more destructive nature to them, my perception often worse than reality. I thought they’d stop when we reconciled, instead they increased in frequency and destructiveness. When it wasn’t a mind movie, it was just my own thoughts naturally settling on the abundance of bad stuff that had been or was going on.
Ian too was struggling with what was going on in his head, God met us both right where we were at, we had to learn how to take our thoughts captive.
‘we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.’
God wanted to give our thinking an upgrade, this is how He did it with us, He showed us:
We needed to remind ourselves that He was with us, for us, and that He was way, way bigger than anything we were facing.
We needed to make the decision to change our thinking and get thankful
We couldn’t just decide not to think about the bad stuff, we needed to swap those thoughts with God thoughts, what He says in His word.
We needed to truly believe and speak out what He says in His word.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.
We didn’t get to choose what thoughts popped into our minds, but we got to choose what happened with them when they didn’t line up with true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. For me, I had to have the good stuff I was going to choose to think about ready before any destructive thoughts came along. I needed the thought change to be swift or uh oh – I was in it.
As we spent more time finding out what God says, and who He is, then thinking on those things – a small change, we started to see bigger changes in us and our marriage. Most obviously in me: the frequency of mind movies and bad thinking bobbing in on me reduced significantly to extremely rarely, my attitude towards Ian and the task of rebuilding our marriage improved, and as what I thought about improved, so did the way I spoke to and about my husband. The atmosphere of our hurting marriage started changing for the better.
Neither of us are perfect in our thinking, but wawaweewa there’s been major progress, I’m never going to stop being thankful for this. The good news is that God always has upgrades for our thinking – the next one in His word!
‘Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.See, I am doing a new thing!’
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